Friday, January 31, 2014

Fitness Friday: BYU Campus Stairs

Disclaimer: This is a long post with a lot of complaining, if you don't want to read it then here is what you should know....
1. Be grateful for your healthy body, and use it!
2. If I, being as nonathletic and weak as I am, can do a triathlon so can you!(its not about speed, its just about finishing!)
3. Don't let the BYU South stairs be the judge of your fitness level

Yesterday was a REALLY long day! I woke up at 4:30am to go to work and didn't get home until 10:45pm and the only break I had in that whole day was when I ate my PB&J in the car.  I went from work, to the physics lab, to take a physics test, to physics class, to chemistry class.  Well yesterday was supposed to be Thankful Thursday on the blog, I was so tired and wasn't really feeling thankful for anything so I just didn't write anything.  But that is ok because today I'm combining Fitness Friday and Thankful Thursday, so here it goes!
 I was under the impression that I am in the best shape I've every been in, as far as cardiovascular strength and muscle strength goes.  So the other day when I approached the hundreds of stairs on the South side of BYU campus I thought to myself, "I am going to rock these!" Much to my disappointment I got winded about half way through and people were passing me left and right! I know this is a small thing but it really got me discouraged.  This happened last Saturday and it has been on my mind all week! How is it that I work out 5-7 hrs a week and still can't climb those stupid stairs with out feeling like I'm going to die!?  I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I didn't warm up or that the workouts I do are not similar to climbing stairs, it doesn't really matter, what does matter is what I learned from it.  I felt pathetic all week, in my spin classes, in my weight classes, and again when I had to climb the stairs yesterday.  It got me thinking that I've always been weak.  The only fitness I really did growing up was dance and I was remembering that in all my classes I've always been the weakest one.  I always felt like I was trying my hardest and just falling short of what everyone else is accomplishing.  I don't want this to be a "woe is me" type of post, I'm just trying to share my thought process this week.  So I had all of these things running through my head yesterday as I was struggling to keep up with the instructor in spin class, and the instructor said just what I needed to hear.  She said, "Aren't you guys glad that you are healthy enough to get tired!?".  It was kind of a weird way to put it but as I thought about it more it made sense.  Even though I can't climb those gosh darn stairs without getting winded, or run a 6 minute mile, or keep up with my spin instructor I have something to be grateful for. Because I am healthy enough to use my body, I may be winded when I get to the top of those stairs but at least I can get to the top! I think the truth of the matter is that unless you are athletically gifted or have 15 hrs to devote to working out a week your going to have a hard time.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

What to Wear Wednesday: Denim Dress

I love this denim dress, I got it for a great deal and it is so fun to mix and match with different accessories. You'll have to forgive the low quality selfie, I currently don't have access to a nice camera.  But as soon as I can I am going to replace this picture with nicer ones, as well as with all the different ways I like to wear this dress, so be looking forward to it!!
Dress, leggings and shoes -Old Navy. Scarf- Target


And here are two more ways to wear this dress.  I want to point out that these outfits would be much more cute without leggings.  But I am tall and have little success in finding dresses that meet Mormon standards, but the leggings do work well for the winter.



Cardigan -Forever 21, Blazer-Plato's Closet

Tasty Tuesday: Potato Soup

I looooooove soup! Especially potato soup! If I could make this recipe once a week with no complaint from my husband I would totally do it.  Here is what I do.

Ingredients:
8 potatoes washed and cut into bite size pieces (you can peel them if you prefer)
1 cup of carrots chopped
1 cup of celery chopped
1 onion chopped
1 tsp minced garlic
10 strips of bacon cut into bite size pieces
2 Tbs butter
2 cans chicken broth
2 cups water
1/2 Tbs seasoned salt
8 oz cream cheese (I have sour cream pictured which would work fine, but I prefer cream cheese)
Other preferred season (I tried salad supreme this time and really liked it)

Saute bacon pieces on medium heat until cooked through, place on a paper towel, and drain about 3/4 of the grease from the pan.
While the bacon is cooking you can chop all of your vegetables.
Add the butter to the pan with bacon grease.  Once the butter is melted saute the onions, celery, and garlic until onions are translucent. Add the potatoes, carrots, seasoned salt, and additional seasonings and saute for about 3 minutes.

 Add chicken broth and water, bring to a boil and then simmer for about thirty minutes, or until potatoes are soft.  Heat the cream cheese in the microwave for about 1 min and then add to the soup.  Then get out your handy dandy hand blender and blend away until you have reached your desired texture (if you don't have a hand blender you can try using a potato masher).  Add any additional salt, pepper, and seasonings.  Serve with bacon pieces and cheddar cheese.  I also love to eat mine with cornbread, it was a tradition in my home growing up.


Just look at that deliciousness!

We had already began eating before I remembered to take a picture.  This is honey cornbread, store bought. 


Monday, January 27, 2014

Mommy Monday: Itis Never Too Cold to go Outside

So I had a long post explaining the importance of taking your kids outside in the winter, but then I lost my internet connection and everything was deleted.  It is late, and I have homework to do so I don't want to re-write it.  Just know that the message I'm trying to get across is to not be afraid to take your kids outside, they will have a blast. Here are some pictures of Norah and her aunt Siera when we went to see a lake in late November.




Sunday, January 26, 2014

Spiritual Sunday:Creativity

Our Sunday school lesson today was on the creation.  It was focused on scriptures found in Moses Chapter 2.  It was interesting because there were some things the teacher said that related to my blog post last week about they way you must explain things to a child. When a 4 year old asks, how does an airplane stay in the sky, you can not go into all of the details of physics because the child still wouldn't understand.  You have to choose to only explain parts that will make since to the child.  The Sunday School teacher compared this to the account of the creation, God could not explain exactly how he created the earth because we would not understand.  He went on to say that just how God is the greatest creator of all he has given us the power and desire to create as well.  I love this idea.  That we have an amazing power to create, anything from a human being to an apple pie.  We all have the desire and we need to fuel it because that is how we can make the world a better place and become more like God.  This topic reminded me of a video the came out on the Mormon Channel a couple years ago that I'm sure you have seen, but it is worth watching multiple times, it is so inspiring.  I love that President Uchtdorf states, "don't let the voices of criticism paralyze you".  We are struck with doubt and discouragement at every corner, but we just need to learn from it and go on creating! This week I am going to create more knowledge in my brain and get an A on my physics test! What are you going to create this week?

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Fitness Friday: You Know You Want To

If you are reading this hopefully it is because you were invited to my triathlon event on facebook and you want to learn more! So here it is, you should totally do it! What is holding you back?
Too busy? Its a Saturday morning for 2hrs tops, you can make time!
Babysitter? The Provo Rec Center has a daycare and only charges 2 dollars an hour per kid
Not in shape? There are plenty of options for distances, this is not a competition, its just meant to provide motivation.  And you have 2 weeks to prepare! And if you participate in next month's then you have 6 weeks to prepare.
If you have any other excuses tell me and I will surely counteract them!

Here are the options for the day of the race
Sprint Triathlon- 5k run, 12mi bike, 400m swim
Half Sprint- 2.5k run, 6mi bike, 200m swim

Very low fitness level (definitely no shame): Pick 2 events to do from the Half Sprint, or 1 event of the Sprint Triathlon
Low fitness level: All the events of the Half Sprint
Medium fitness level: Pick 2 events from the Sprint Triathlon
Hard: Entire Sprint Triathlon

Saturday Feb. 8th 8am
Admission to Rec Center $5
You time yourself!
Order of events, Run Bike Swim, this is not traditional but will make the transitions easier since we are indoors and it wouldn't be very fun to sit on a bike soaking wet.
Running on indoor track
Biking on stationary bikes (they are super nice and very similar to a road bike)
Swimming in lap pool

Thankful Thursday: You Tube Educational Videos

So I have started going back to school to hopefully do something in the medical field and am taking chemistry and physics.  These are definitely not easy classes by any means and I am spending about 4 hours a day studying for them. I am really taking these classes seriously and want to make sure I understand every subject the best that I can.  So I always do the assigned reading and practice problems, the only issue is that TEXTBOOKS ARE THE WORST! Don't get me wrong the books are good for a couple of things like giving the order of learning certain subjects and giving practice problems, but sometimes I will finish a section or a chapter and have no clue what it was talking about.  This is when I turn to You Tube.  Its the best! I type in the subject, for example "electron configuration" and I can choose from a number of related videos. The best part is that then it starts to make since!  This may seem like a simple obvious solution and that's because it is! My advice is that if you are in school right now, or just want to learn something new, utilize youtube, you will be pleasantly surprised! Another good website for education (especially math) is https://www.khanacademy.org, check it out!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

What to Wear Wednesday: A Vest for a Penny!

I got this vest for a penny! Yes I said a penny, no discounts coupons or anything, it was literally a penny.  Every once in a while you can find amazing deals like this at Old Navy and I was so happy about this one.  I am obsessed with vests lately and I am glad they are in style.  This vest is unique and that is why I love it. I also liked how it worked with this necklace.









 Could you tell the sun was in my face!? That is what happens when you wait last minute to take pictures for your blog.  Well regardless of my squinty eyes I think the outfit works well.
Vest, sweater, and necklace (Old Navy), Pants (Plato's Closet, Roxy), Shoes(Target)

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Tasty Tuesday: Enchilada Casserole

This one of my favorite dishes to make, it is simple and delicious.  There are a lot of enchilada casserole recipes out there and this is just a combination of 3 or 4 of my favorites. Try it out, it won't disappoint.

Ingredients:
1 Tbs Cooking Oil (not pictured)
1 Onion
1 lbs Chicken but into bite sized pieces
1 Can Green Chilies
1 Tbs Cumin
1 Tbs Chili powder
1 Can Black Beans
1 Cup Frozen Corn
1 Large Can Green Enchilada Sauce
1 Can Cream of Chicken
1 Cup Sour Cream
1 Package Corn Tortillas, cut into 1 inch strips
Shredded Cheddar Cheese (about 3-4 cups depending on how cheesy you want it)
Salt to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Heat the oil over medium-high heat and saute the onions until transparent.

Saute chicken until brown on both sides and almost cooked through.

Add green chili, seasonings and salt.

Saute until chicken is cooked through and add beans and corn.  Cook until heated through.
 Combine the sauce, sour cream and cream of chicken.  Mix with a whisk until well blended and begin layering your casserole dish like a lasagna.
 
Layer in this order, sauce, tortillas, chicken mixture cheese.  The very last layer will go tortillas, sauce, and cheese.




Bake at 350 for 30-40 minutes or until cheese is bubbly.

So I haven't mastered taking appetizing food pictures, but I promise this is delicious!!!

!

Monday, January 20, 2014

Mommy Monday: Trampoline Parks

You may have noticed a trampoline parks seem to be everywhere these days and I think it is amazing.  The first time I went to one was a very magical moment for me, unfortunately I now have mommy bladder and jumping on a trampoline isn't as easy as it used to be.  But Norah love them!! We went for the first time in September and it was the happiest I had seen Norah in sometime.  She asks almost every day to go back, she says, "member the trampoline park, I wanna do it again!".  We went for probably the 5th time today and it was still as fun as ever.  She loves playing in the foam pits and sliding down the tilted trampolines.  We go to Hangtime but I'm sure any trampoline park will do the job.  Its not too expensive and there seem to always be coupons if you get on their email list. THIS IS THE WEBSITE, check it out!



Sunday, January 19, 2014

Spiritual Sunday: The Old Testament

So I went to a class the other night put on by our ward and taught by Gerald Lund (author of Work and the Glory).  It is held once a month and Jordan and I have been trying to make it for years and we finally had an opportunity to go the other night.  Brother Lund focused the lesson on the Old Testament and it was great to hear his thoughts.  The class started with questions like, "what comes to mind when you think about the Old Testament", and "What parts of the Old Testament bother you".  The introduction to the class was basically all about how the Old Testament is difficult to read, hard to believe, and how it is kind of being pushed aside by some religions these days for its controversial nature.  I agreed with all of these things, I've only read through the Old Testament once and it was when I was in high school and I wasn't all that invested.  Brother Lund went on to teach about how the Old Testament is actually a beautiful book.  He explained how Jehovah, or Jesus Christ, is the God of the Old Testament and how it is therefore an amazing testament of Christ. Jehovah is actually referred to 5500 times!  He then went on to teach that we may not be so appreciative of it now but that it was important enough to kill for and it is a foundational scripture. He then went on to explain why this is.  So the children of Israel were given the law of Egypt until their exodus, at which time the Lord revealed to them the Law of Christ.  Unfortunately the children of Israel were not so successful at living this law and that is when the Lord revealed the Law of Moses (something along these lines).

By looking at this diagram we can understand that the leap from the Law of Egypt to the Law of Christ was a HUGE one, and this is why the Children of Israel were not successful at living it.  We can also see that the Law of Moses is just one step above the Law of Egypt.  The children of Israel were spiritually young and needed a law as straight forward as the law of Moses.  Brother Lund compared this to parenting, with the idea that you give young children straightforward laws such as "don't go in the street".  Because if you were to tell them "its important to protect yourself and be aware of their surroundings" they wouldn't be able to make the connection that they shouldn't walk into the street.  And this is why the Law of Moses and the harshness of God in the Old Testament may seem ridiculous to us, because we have so much more spiritual knowledge then the people of the Old Testament.  God knows this and so we have the Law of Christ which allows us to exercise our free agency and become more independent.  This explanation does not do Brother Lund's lesson justice but hopefully it will spark a curiosity in you to study the Old Testament with a different outlook.  If you want to know more about what Brother Lund has to say about the Old Testament THIS is a good talk to read.  You can also navigate around his website, he has lots of great books and talks on other subjects. 

Friday, January 17, 2014

Fitness Friday: Swimming

Up until last year swimming was a very foreign sport to me.  I had never once taken a swimming lesson and had never attempted swimming for exercise and let me tell you, it has changed my life.  Swimming is such a fun way to exercise and so relaxing.  It is such a different experience from running and biking and I highly recommend everyone try it! It will be hard and uncomfortable at first but once you get it down it will be magical.  Sure you won't burn as many calories as other cardio workouts but it works different muscles and is great for breathing training.  I love to swim at least once a week, it gives my muscles a break from my other hard workouts but still enhances my fitness abilities.  So try it out!


Here is a good video to get you started if you don't know what you are doing.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Thankful Thursday: Awkward Moments

Let me just say that the word awkward is used way too much these days but I couldn't think of a better word to use (yes I am embarrassed by my vocabulary skills). Anyway, today I am thankful for those moments in life that are completely unexpected that may not seem funny at the moment but may be hilarious in hind sight or even more hilarious to onlookers.  Those moments that  seem impossible to come out of alive but end up making great stories or teaching valuable lessons.  Life is full of hiccups and mistakes and the best thing to do is to look at it with a sense of humor and think, "does it really matter?".  Does it really matter that Jordan and I destroyed our car? Does it really matter that I never made it as a professional ballerina? Yes a hard situation can seem overwhelming and depressing in the moment but nothing lasts forever. And everything is for our good!!! So take those hard moments and laugh at them, learn from them, and move on!

If you haven't seen this video yet you're welcome! If you have seen it watch it again!

  

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

What to Wear Wednesday: Pencil Skirts and French Twists

There is just something so classy about a pencil skirt and a french twist.  I love this outfit because it makes me feel classy, and I'm not normally very classy.  Since my job is teaching ballet I normally wear sweats every day so I take any opportunity to dress up that I can get. This is one of my favorite go to outfits for church, not this exact ensemble but any pencil skirt and a tucked in shirt and a cardigan for cold weather.  I also love the pop of the green belt I think it works nicely with the purple shoes and cardigan. And guess what? not every item is from old navy! Cardigan-Forever 21, Shirt- Old Navy, Belt-Old Navy, Earrings- Old Navy, Shoes- Target (4 years ago, they were the shoes I wore to my wedding luncheon :)), Skirt- Target


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Tasty Tuesday: Feathered Rice and Stroganoff

One of my favorite meals that my Mom made for Sunday dinner was feathered rice and stroganoff.  When I left home I realized that feathered rice is not a common thing, and the world is missing out!  I love feathered rice it has so much flavor and a satisfying texture and goes perfect with stroganoff.
My favorite recipe for stroganoff isTHIS ONE. Its really easy and super delicious.  And here is how you make the feathered rice.

Ingredients:
2 cups uncooked rice
5 cups boiling water
3 bullion cubes (or you could use 3 cups beef broth and 2 cups water)
2 Tbs sliced butter

Preheat the oven to 375. Spread the rice evenly on a cookie sheet, place in preheated oven and cook for 10-15 minutes or until golden brown.



 Be sure to move the rice around every 3 minutes or so to prevent uneven cooking.  While the rice is cooking boil the water and dissolve the 3 bullion cubes.


Then place the butter on the bottom of a casserole dish.  When the rice is done transfer it to the casserole and poor the boiling water over the rice.  Cover tightly with foil and bake for 20 min at 400 degrees or until all of the moisture is absorbed.  Rice should be light and fluffy. If you want a crisper texture you can broil it for a couple more minutes with the cover off.

The picture doesn't do it justice, I promise it is delicious!

Monday, January 13, 2014

Mommy Monday: Make an Indoor Slide

Norah LOVES slides, what kid doesn't? So one day when the weather was bad I decided to make her an indoor slide and it was a hit! I saw on pinterest that someone made a slide on the stairs out of cardboard boxes so I tried, but it didn't work out too well.  Luckily the cushions on my couch were removable and very well used, so I didn't care too much about them getting damaged.  If you don't have couch cushions you can use then you could maybe use a twin size mattress, if you don't have either or don't have stairs then you are out of luck.  But you could make a tower of cushions and pillows and have your toddler attempt to climb and then jump off of it, that was also a hit for Norah.  The point is there is always something fun to do inside if you use a little creativity!

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Spiritual Sunday: Book of Mormon

When I was young it was really easy to have a testimony of the Book of Mormon (What is the Book of Mormon?)  Life was simple and my testimony was simple, as I have gotten older my testimony has evolved and at some points faltered. Watching multiple members of my family leave the church and deny the Book of Mormon has definitely shaken me a bit.  It has caused me to think if they no longer believe it then why do I? For awhile I stopped reading any scriptures and had many doubts. Then one day I thought, "well if I'm not studying the scriptures and familiarizing my self with them then I can neither deny them nor believe them".  So I decided if I'm going to make a decision about these scriptures then I'm going to study them first with an open mind. And miracles have occurred.  I have only read the Book of Mormon from start to finish twice in my life and I decided to do it a third time and began reading on December 1st. It literally only took three days of dedicated studying to have the spirit testify to me of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. The introduction to The Book of Mormon states it perfectly, "if men will abide by its precepts, it will bring them closer to God than any other book." Its only been a month but I already feel closer to God and my testimony has been renewed.  The Book of Mormon truly testifies of God, and it provides a great amount of hope and comfort. YOU NEED TO READ IT! (I promise it won't kill you)

Friday, January 10, 2014

Fitness Friday: Fitness Goals

This year I kind of dislike the idea of New Years resolutions.  I fell like we should be making resolutions every day, every week, every month.  We should just always be setting goals to be better than what we are now.  So I have not made a new fitness goal for the New Year I have just decided to be committed to the goals I made over the summer, which are to run a half marathon and do an Olympic triathlon and to do something EVERY DAY.  After I had Norah there were many times I made goals to lose a certain amount of weight or to have a firmer this or tighter that. But now I have decided that it is more important to have a fitness goal rather than a weight goal.  It is much more fun to wake up and think "I want to run 6 miles today, or I want to bike to work today because I know I will feel great afterward and I will get stronger".  Rather than "I'm going to do 100000000 squats today so I will have a perfect butt".  Because trust me I have done squats until the cows came home and my butt is far from perfect.  This change of mentality has made my workouts much more enjoyable, but everyone has to do what is best for them.  What ever mentality gets you up and using the amazing body you've be given is worth keeping.  So what am I trying to say really?  I guess I'm just saying it is so much more fun to see what my body is capable of rather than being so concerned with how my body looks.  I may not ever see the number on the scale that I want but I can definitely see the number I want on a treadmill.  So yeah, now that I've gotten this out there you can expect my next couple of Fitness Friday posts to contain training tips and techniques for triathlons and half marathons, so look forward to it and start moving!!


Something is better than nothing!

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Thankful Thursday: Ziplist

Today I am thankful for Ziplist! It's a wonderful little app that has revolutionized the way I do dinner. I used to just go to the grocery store without a meal plan and just buy essentials and basics.  I would always end up with boring dinners like tacos (which there is nothing wrong with tacos, but too much can be a bad thing) and spaghetti (also good in moderation).  I love Ziplist because it makes meal planning and grocery shopping much easier.  Every Sunday I plan my meals by either using recipes from my Ziplist recipe box, or by searching for new ones on Ziplist and adding them to my box.  It's awesome because I just select what I want to make and it automatically makes me a shopping list. I love it and I religiously use it every week.  Man this sounds like it could be on an infomercial, but it is true!  I just found out that it also advertises deals too. Seriously check it out. http://get.ziplist.com/

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

What to Wear Wednesday: Last Year's Sweater

For those of you who don't know I work at Old Navy, and I get a great discount on clothes at Old Navy, Gap and Banana Republic (although even with 50% off I can't afford Banana Republic). As a result of this you can pretty much bet that all my clothes are from either Gap or Old Navy, and I'm not ashamed. I can update my wardrobe every year and not go broke and that is saying a lot considering how low my income is with both my husband and I just working part time.  Because I always seem to be getting new clothes I'm also always getting rid of clothes, except for those few things that just seem to stick around.  One of those items is a hi-low sweater I actually purchased two years ago.  I don't wear it that often because I don't always love how it looks, but for this outfit I think it really fits.  And I don't think there is anything wrong with wearing something that is old if it gets the job done.
So I could never be a model! I felt so awkward having Jordan take these pictures and this first picture shows that awkwardness. You'll also notice my hands are always in weird spots, I didn't know what to do with them! Anyway ignore the modeling and take note of the outfit.


 
I love, love, love this scarf!It seems to go with everything and is sooooo warm! The boots are the only items that are not from Old Navy.


Jordan and Norah built this. Isn't it beautiful!?




Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Tasty Tuesday: Thai Curry

I love Thai food! I will take any opportunity to go out for Thai food that I can get.  Because of this obsession I have tried a couple curry recipes and have never been satisfied; until now.  Luckily my mother-in-law has a friend from India, Nita, who was kind enough to teach me some good cooking techniques and renewed my desire to try a new approach to making a curry dish. So with five curry recipes and the awesome techniques I learned from Nita I created a curry dish that has satisfied my craving.  This is only the beginning of my experimenting and I imagine I will come up with an even better recipe in a couple of months. But here is what I have come up with so far….
Ingredients:
2 cups uncooked Jasmine Rice
1.5 lbs chicken cut into bite sized pieces
Curry powder (enough to coat the chicken)
1 onion diced
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp whole coriander
1 cinnamon stick
2 T olive oil
1 T butter
1 red or green bell pepper
4 cloves minced garlic
2 tsp fresh grated ginger
1 cup fresh pineapple diced
1 cup sliced carrots
Sauce:
2 cans coconut milk
1 bottle Thai curry paste
 2 T fish oil (I didn't have fish oil so I substituted soy sauce, but I would not recommend this)
¼ cup brown sugar
Salt and pepper to taste

I ended up not putting the peanut butter in, it may fit better in a dish without pineapple.

Notice cumin seeds, whole coriander and a cinnamon stick.  Apparently the spices hold more flavor when they are not ground.




Begin by coating the chicken with the curry powder and set it aside. Cook the rice according to package directions (Word of caution: the package directions for my jasmine rice said to add salt, I doubled the serving so I doubled the salt, that was a MISTAKE, it was WAY too salty!).  Heat the butter and 1 T oil in a large skillet on med-hi heat. Add onions, cumin seeds, whole coriander, and cinnamon.  Sauté for about three minutes and then add bell peppers and sauté for 3 more minutes.  Add garlic and ginger and cook 30 secs to 1 min (Special tip: my friend Nita highly recommended using a lot of garlic, 4 cloves is twice as much as any recipe I came across but I really do think it made a difference).  Push the onions and peppers to the outside of the pan and throw the chicken in the center, cook until chicken is white on both sides but not cooked through.






While the chicken is cooking combine all of the sauce ingredients in a separate bowl. When the chicken is done add the sauce, carrots, and pineapple.  Heat to a boil and then simmer for about 20 minutes, covered.  Serve over rice and die from satisfaction!